Though I don't quite like to use the word "Wassup" as in "What's Up" - just a fun word to bring this post closer to you...

I recently asked someone : "Do people perceive you the way you want them to?"   We read people everyday and being read by others.  It is the subconscious instinct that lead you into taking action and reaction. The decision to give each other an opportunity to associate, do business, being acquainted  or simply time to connect; are cruciallly based on your visual.

Visual Audit
Do you start to dress the way you are now to where you want to be in your career?  If your answers are "no time",  "too troublesome", "it's my character that attract, not my dressing" or "beauty is in the eye of beholder" and all the excuses you are trying to qualify, than you are also qualifying yourself for being passed over from your promotion/attainment. Be reminded that before you make any vocal or verbal connection, it is your Visual that says hello to others FIRST.

Vocal Audit
I have recently asked a student in my class; a working mum with two kids, about her vocal volume control when she speaks at home, with her kids and at work.  Hearing the pitch of a person's voice, the quality of the voice and the volume are important clue of how the lifestyle is led.  You invite or distant a relationship through the way you speak.  People love to hear melodious, enthusiastic, rich, calm yet lively voice and retention level is always longer.  The opposites are super fast, harsh, trails off, lifeless, agitated, attacking and pretentiously sweet, they simply have no place in business and social.

Body Language
The way you walk, sit, stand and your posture are your blueprint.  If you walk like a man and you try to dress like a lady, you are not vibrating your intention.  You wish to look influential and successful but you have no makeup, walk too frantically,  laugh too loud, sit with wide legs open (though you are with pants), your body concoction is upside down.  Body language leakage can be easily picked up by others.  Right or wrong message, it's not up to you to decide.

Verbal Audit
The way you construct your sentence is essential.  "Verbal" reflects strongly on your personality, character and background. If you have a judgemental mind, you will talk or ask in a questionable manner that send doubtly messages.  Sadly, the question you post attracts the mirror-off-putting attitude.  A friend (Mary)  recently got married after her divorce 10 years ago.  Mary introduced her spouse to Mark, another common friend.  Sadly, Mary's spouse was casually questioned (perhaps informed) if he was aware of her previous marriage.  Mark was later confronted and the relationship turned awkward because of his no-brainer untentional verbal insult. 

Emotional Mental Audit
Calmness and self-sufficiency are linked to emotional & mental realm.  If you are committed to your personal growth, you would dedicate time for your emotional, mental and physical realms. You will not react frantically and anxiously, win the rat race and being labeled as "No 1 Rat".  Why do some people reach their potential effortlessly while you fail?   Learn to enjoy the journey in your performance rather than impress with your outer core without learning a thing.  With this, you will be able to handle circumstances and changes in a calm manner.  Take control of the emotional-mental health everytime you encounter unexpected challenges, fears and disappointments. 

"I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.  And so it is with you.... we are in charge of our attitudes!"  - Charles Swindoll

Agnes Koh
Etiquette & Image International